The question of whether to fully recline your seat on a flight often sparks debate — should your own comfort outweigh the inconvenience it may cause others? When Kurt decided to lean his seat all the way back, the pregnant woman behind him spoke up about her discomfort. What followed was a surprising series of events. Here’s what happened.
Here is Kurt’s letter:
I fully reclined my seat on a 12-hour flight. The very pregnant woman behind me started pushing it, complaining that she didn’t have enough legroom. I snapped, “If you want luxury, fly business class!” She went quiet, and some time later, I realized she wasn’t there anymore. When I asked the stewardess, she said they had moved the woman to an empty business class seat to avoid further issues.
Then, as we landed, the flight attendant came and said, “Sir, check your bag.” When I opened it, I was shocked when I discovered that someone had placed a business class amenity kit inside. The kit included a pair of earplugs, an eye mask, toiletries, and a note.
The note read:
“Next time, try a little kindness. It costs nothing and makes the journey smoother for everyone. Thank you for inspiring the kindness of strangers to elevate me to a more comfortable seat. Safe travels.”
I still stand by what I did. I paid for my seat and have the right to recline it; otherwise, they wouldn’t design the seats like that.
Do you think I was wrong?
– Kurt
Hi Kurt! Thank you for being so open and sharing your experience with us. We’ve gathered some helpful advice that could guide you if you ever face a similar situation again.
Try offering an apology or acknowledging the situation afterward.
Since you learned the woman was moved to business class, it could have been a good chance to check in with the flight attendants or even with her afterward. A simple apology or acknowledgment of her discomfort might have helped turn the situation into one of mutual understanding.
Even if the disagreement was short-lived, this small gesture could have made a big difference in how both of you remembered the encounter.
Consider how much the tone of your words impacts effective communication.
While you were justified in reclining your seat, the tone of your response may have escalated things unnecessarily. The remark, “If you want luxury, buy a business,” likely contributed to the woman’s distress.
In retrospect, offering a more neutral or understanding comment, such as, “I’m sorry if I’m causing discomfort, but I’ve had a long flight too,” could have led to a more peaceful resolution.
A calm tone can sometimes prevent an issue from spiraling, even if you are in the right.
Recognize the significant influence flight attendants have in managing situations.
Although it may have seemed unfair that the woman was moved, flight attendants are trained to handle conflicts and ensure the comfort of all passengers. This can serve as a reminder of the crucial role they play in keeping peace onboard.
Rather than viewing their intervention as a challenge to your rights, try to see it as an effort to create a more comfortable environment for everyone — yourself included.
Look at this experience as an opportunity to learn and grow for future interactions.
Looking back, you might see this as an opportunity to approach similar situations differently in the future. Even though you were in the right to recline your seat, this experience might help you realize that people’s personal circumstances — such as being pregnant — can affect their comfort in ways you might not immediately notice.
On future flights, whether reclining your seat or making any other choice, taking a moment to consider how your actions might affect those around you can help avoid conflicts and make the journey more comfortable for everyone.